A Radical Youth Journal Based in the U.S.

Angry Tears from Home and Abroad: Letters from the Military and their Families

"Man, they can't pay me enough to stay here."

Those were the words last week of a 23-year-old specialist manning a checkpoint 35 miles outside Baghdad (Associated Press, January 7th). They were in response to the military's new plan to offer up to a $10,000 re-enlistment bonus for soldiers whose tenure is running up.

With all the hoopla going on surrounding the occupation, we thought Left Hook readers should see for themselves what many soldiers and their families are saying about the occupation of Iraq. Below is a compilation of letters, poems, and quotes from members of the military stationed in Iraq, retired vets, mothers and girlfriends, and youth who are stationed in the US waiting for deployment. All material was taken from these three websites, which we urge you to check out:

http://www.traveling-soldier.org/

http://www.bringthemhomenow.org

http://www.michaelmoore.com

From a Father of a Soldier in Iraq�

I just got off the phone with my son... It was great to hear his voice. It was only the second time I have talked to him since he has been in Baghdad.

In the conversation I asked him about Rumsfeld's visit to the Baghdad Airport. My son said that on an average day, there are Iraqis around the airport doing different chores. He said that none were allowed at the airport during Rumsfeld's visit. More disturbing, my son said there were sharp-shooters on the roofs of all the buildings. I asked my son why they would need sharp-shooters on the roof if there were no Iraqis at the Airport. He said they were for the SOLDIERS! He said they were all warned that any one that went on a roof would be SHOT! The airport is made up of several high rise buildings that the troops live in. My son said several of his friends live on the upper floors of these buildings. He said they generally go up on the roof to read or to smoke, etc. These soldiers were warned they would be shot if they went up on the roof for any reason. I find it shocking that the morale is so low for the troops that the upper brass don't trust them.

In closing, my son told me that his friends appreciate our efforts. He said they know that we are protesting against the administration and not them. They back us completely.

In peace,
Father of a Soldier in Iraq
posted September 25, 2003 on the
Bring Them Home Now sound off board.
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"There is no real reason for us to be out here!!! We're protecting oil is all, and as far as the supposed war ending, it hasn't."

- Private First Class Mary Yahne, 4th Infantry Division.
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"They have frozen all redeployments, so no one is going anywhere anytime soon, and our Congress goes on vacation July 25 so nothing is going to happen until mid fall. Not what we all want to hear out here. We are under siege out here, without supplies, without a mission and we can only roll the dice so many times and not get our asses shot. More and more body bags and amputees will be coming home."

- Brett Hunt, 2nd Lieutenant, 11th Signal Brigade (Army), north of Baghdad.
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Dear Mr. (Michael) Moore: As a soldier in the US Army I feel like a pawn in Bush's game of global imperialism. It feels great to have an ally like you on our side. I joined the Army willingly and am not scared to fight or give my life for my country, I just want it to be for the right reasons. By the way, "Bowling for Columbine" is a huge hit in my barracks at Ft. Hood TX

Sincerely,
Specialist _________, US Army
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November 16, 2003 I'm sitting here at the kitchen table, reading the morning paper and again, another article about 17 more soldiers killed in Iraq!!!! In Mosul choppers collide!!!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!! Does anyone from the government understand what it's like to have a child over there? It's pure HELL. My son has been there since February '03. Nine very long months. He has lost his wife and two step daughters by being there. And if that's not enough, he is now starting to lose his family (unit) over there. I really wish that someone with the authority would finally make a good decision and bring our children home now. Enough killing of our innocent soldiers who were suppose to be deployed until August 03. I am angry to think that our government would do this to our military. They all signed up for different reasons I'm sure, but I'd bet they didn't sign up for this! How much more killing of innocent men and women are we suppose to be okay with???????? I say BRING THEM HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie
a concerned mom from Waterville, Maine
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"Most soldiers would empty their bank accounts just for a plane ticket home."
- Anonymous Army soldier in a letter to Congress.
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December 14, 2003

Spec-4 Marshall L. Edgerton was 27 years old. He was from Rocky Face, Georgia. He was assigned to [deleted], 82nd Airborne Division. We are based in Fort Bragg, N.C. Marshall was killed December 11th when he was escorting a delivery truck into the 82nd Headquarters in Ramadi, Iraq. The news told you that a furniture truck blew up outside the compound, and that our excellent defenses prevented a lot more people from being killed. That's a load of sh*t. The truck blew up inside the compound, and the reason only 15 people were hurt and one American killed is plain luck. They make us get on every vehicle that enters the compound, and plenty of vehicles come. It's like playing Russian roulette.

We understand water trucks and gasoline trucks. We need that stuff, even though there are still plenty of ways they could detonate one of those too. Let me tell you what was being delivered though, and what Marshall Edgerton died for. A general is decorating his office here. It's a nice office, a luxury office you might say. And it needed a carpet to go with all the new furniture. Now while the grunts and we [deleted] can get along with field tables and folding chairs, of course the general has to trick out his office like he's a Roman caesar or something. So these furniture trucks come onto our compound when we already know that a lot of people out there want to kill us. This truck was loaded with carpet.

Marshall came to Iraq to die for a general's carpet. Marshall's family will grieve so a general could have carpet. What we really need here are big trucks that can haul away all the bullshit. And a few to get our asses back to an airport.

Don't give my name or email address. The truth can get you in a lot of trouble here.
Anonymous
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"What are we getting into here? The war is supposed to be over, but every day we hear of another soldier getting killed. Is it worth it? Saddam isn't in power anymore. The locals want us to leave. Why are we still here?"

- Anonymous Sgt., 4th Infantry Division.
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November 2, 2003
Dear President Bush,

I am writing to you with a very heavy heart. You have failed us, the American People, as President. I would like to take you a day in the life of an Army Spouse. I want you to close your eyes and envision with me, but put Laura in my shoes for a minute and put your twins in our shoes. The day is ending and I check MSNBC one more time before I go to sleep to make sure nothing new has emerged about another soldier getting killed. I have made my bed on the couch and made sure the volume is up on the computer, just in case my husband logs on to tell me he made it through another day of uncertainty in Baghdad. Any little thing that I can do to make him comfortable, I do it, so I make sure the web cam is on and positioned just right so that he can log on to view my web cam and watch me sleep. I make it through the night, no Casualty Assistance Officers have come to knock on my door to confirm my worst fears.

The next morning I wake up to my husband alerting my messenger to see if I can hear him. "Good morning, Baby, did I wake you? If I did, I apologize and I want you to go back to sleep" (through all of what he is going through, he has still put me first to make sure I am okay). I tell him thank GOD that you are alright and he tells me about his day and what to expect the next day and how nervous he is, because he has one of the most dangerous jobs there. I tell him don't talk like that, because he promised me that he would come home to me okay. We talk a little more and I begin to cry (he can see me on the web cam) and he tries his best to reassure me that he will be alright, but it doesn't work, because my pain goes deeper then he will ever know.

He tells me his time is up after a few minutes and that he must go. I go through the same routine of having to say good bye and not know if that is the last time that I will get to speak to my husband again. He says to me " I LOVE YOU BABY" and "STAY STRONG" and we count down 5,4,3,2,1,0 to log off at the same time, because neither one of us wants to go first and then he's gone. Mr. President, do I get to speak to my husband the next day? You can't tell me yes or no, because you can't promise me that my husband will log back on tomorrow just to tell me "He made it." You don't know the pain that myself and thousands of other military families feel on a daily basis. You don't know what it's like to hear Laura call you and tell you that she will need counseling when she comes home, because this is just too much. Our brave men and women are over in Iraq fighting for a purpose that is non-existent. I'm pretty sure that when the seventeen-year-old soldiers' parents signed the consent forms to allow their sons and daughters to serve for Uncle Sam, they didn't think you would intentionally put their children in harm's way. Why do you want to fight so hard for someone that doesn't want to be helped? Leave the Iraqi people alone, if they want us gone, then why stay? Why do you have those soldiers feeling like they are serving no purpose and that the Iraqi people don't care about them or want them in their country, when in all actuality, they have millions and millions of people here "AT HOME" that are praying for them, planning return celebrations and fighting to get them home safely?

Yes, those soldiers signed their name to fight for their country and I am quite sure that is exactly what they want to do, but they don't want to fight when there is no significant reason. You have the opportunity to sleep comfortably in your bed every night, next to Laura, that's the perks to being Mr. President, but you didn't give those soldiers the opportunity to do the same. You have failed those fallen soldiers as their Commander in Chief. They went in confidently and gave their lives, thinking that you would make the right decisions to ensure their safe return home. Mr. President, you didn't do that and you still haven't done that. Every day that another precious soldier is lost, it is just another soldier that you have let down. You have failed me as my Commander in Chief and I am ashamed to call you my President. Just like a prisoner at Ft. Leavenworth who has lost their right to salute, I think you should lose it too.

In other than honorable regards,
A Very Angry Spouse
New York, New York
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"In the beginning I was into this; we all were. [But] we haven't found anything, no weapons of mass destruction, no Saddam, no nothing. And the people there hate us. If we were rolling through a town and they were cheering, hell yeah, it would make us feel better. But when they're not cooperating and throwing rocks and giving us evil looks, we don't want to be there. We're conquerors to them. It wasn't supposed to be like that. ... I hate it over there, I hate it."
- Specialist Castillo, while on leave from Iraq.
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"[The Iraqis] seem to have gotten pretty aggravated with us being around. I asked my interpreter if the Iraqi people are mad at us. He said that 90 percent of Iraqis hate us, and the other 10 percent have left Iraq."
- Private T.J. Knight, the driver of White's humvee.
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Dear Mr. (Michael) Moore,

I have just returned home from "Operation Iraqi Freedom". I spent 5 months in Baghdad, and a total of 3 years in the U.S. Army. I was recently discharged with Honorable valor and returned to the States only to be horrified by what I've seen my country turn into.

I'm now 22 years old and have discovered America is such a complicated place to live, and moreover, Americans are almost oblivious to what's been happening to their country. America has become "1984." Homeland security is teaching us to spy on one another and forcing us to become anti-social. Americans are willingly sacrificing our freedoms in the name of security, the same Freedoms I was willing to put my life on the line for. The constitution is in jeopardy. As Gen. Tommy Franks said, (broken down of course) One more terrorist attack and the constitution will hold no meaning.

Computers are running our lives. There literally isn't anything we can't do online, and now we're becoming dependant on computers. And this is forcing us to become anti-social. And people who notice this become paranoid of One World Government conspiracy. Then the people who don't notice call the paranoid, "crack pots" and bury their nose back in the football section of the newspaper instead of reading the headline. Americans read a Maxim Magazine "How To ...fix the sink" and they truly believe they're plumbers. It's an illusion of intelligence.

They are convinced they control their lives when in reality they've never even left the city limits of Culpepper, VA. When just outside the city there's a station that's controlling them. Hell they know more about Peyton Manning's family history than about their own.

I wanted to take 2 months and travel all over this great country of ours, but I see no need to now... Because the McDonalds in Arizona is the same as the one in New York. We're losing our culture. And this convenient and sterile Wal-Mart environment that should be an alternative, is now common place and even worse, we're inflicting it on other cultures and pressuring them to drop their thousand year old heritage. Americans accept anything the television tells them. The media can put a spin on any topic to suit their opinions and feed it to the people. People don't research the subjects on their own, they take the easiest route.

And it just seems like nobody cares that their dreams are being crushed by a society and a system. We're pressured to conform to a standard. Go to school for 12 years. Go to college, get a diploma, get married, use the degree to get a job you hate to work at for 40 years making somebody else rich, and then have your kids shuffle you into a retirement home where you wait for your turn to die. I know that's not the american dream. Don't conform to a standard because you're told, conform if you want. Stop telling me what's appropriate and not. If two guys want to get married, I don't care, how does that affect me ? If I want to smoke a cigarette when I walk down the street, don't tell me to put it out, my freedom, you don't like it, try walking on the other side of the street. Do what you want in life. It's your country.

Remember there are some things you'll get arrested for. But if you feel you need to make a stand by doing so, more power to you.
Jerry C. Oliver Jr.
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"We shouldn't be here and we should never have been sent here. And maybe you can tell me: why were we sent here?" --Military policeman, near Abu Ghurayb.
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November 23, 2003

I am a Marine Corps Reservist from New York. I go to college in Maryland and had to drop out of school when my unit was activated this January. I was in country from February until August. I just thought you should know that during the deployment my unit had basically NO mission, as much as they are all in denial of this. About 90 percent of the unit was never gainfully employed the whole time we were there. Most of our time was spent doing work that was thought up to keep us busy. Also we spent a lot of time hanging around by the PX and watching movies in our tents. Our chain of command also refused to give us or our families back home any information about when we might be coming home.

Now I'm finally back at college and I've been told that my unit is scheduled to re-deploy in June of next year. For what reason I have no clue. I joined the reserves with the understanding that we would be called upon when we were REALLY needed, not just anytime they want some bodies to sit around and watch movies half way around the world.

I just thought the American taxpayers might like to know where their money is going. I wasn't too sure about this war from the beginning and now I'm certain it's a waste of time, money, and most of all lives. If I get deployed in June I'll be missing summer courses, a study abroad at Cambridge, and basically all of next school year...for what???? At this rate I'll be 30 before I get my Bachelor's degree. The DOD claims they're having no problems with retention rates and that's fine. My enlistment is up in January 2006 and I'm one Reservist who wouldn't re-enlist if they gave me a billion dollars.

PS: I'd love to sign this with my name, and I really should since in theory this is a free country. But really the days of being able to speak your mind in America are long gone. If I put my name to this I'll most likely be prosecuted by the military and face ostracism within the Marine Corps, thats the reality.

Anonymous
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"Before I came over, watching the news I was rah-rah and here we go. Now I am just thinking, this needs to stop and go away. When talking to my wife at home, you know, people just hear about a few casualties a day and it doesn't sound like a big deal. But when you see a 19-year-old kid with his leg barely hanging on, that one alone is a big deal."

--Major Gordon Olsen, orthopedic specialist, Heber City, Utah where the most seriously injured from Iraq go for treatment.
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"I don't give a damn about Rumsfeld. All I give a damn about is going home. The only thing his visit meant for us was we had to clean up a lot of mess to make the place look pretty. And he didn't even look at it anyway."

- Specialist Rue Gretton, on Rumsfeld's visit to Tikrit.
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"If I got to talk to Rumsfeld I'd tell him to give us a return date. We've been here six months and the rumor is we'll be here until at least March. This is totally, totally uncalled for."
- Sgt. Green, Tikrit, Iraq
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"I'm definitely getting out. To heck with the Army."

--Corporal Jos� Alvarez, Iraq.
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Dear traveling soldier,

My young brother was sent to Iraq a few months ago. The conditions are not only dangerous due to being attacked, but his and all other soldiers' health and psychological well-being are under serious threat!

We have been informed that he is no longer aloud to send or receive e-mail from anyone! He is allowed two ten-minute phone calls home per month and postal mail takes 3-4 weeks to send both ways. We as a family are completely cut off and are growing more and more helpless in the effort to send our support to help him through the most difficult time in his young life! His first child was born without his father on the 4th of July. He married only days before being shipped out. He is constantly being shifted around and in the dark about his orders until the moment declared.

I am actively trying to get information out about the issues us as families of soldiers and the issues of the soldiers fighting out to the public. They are being treated like cattle and forced into situations they didn't sign on to deal with. The rotation for each unit is ever changing, like a carrot dangling. The "WAR" never ended in their or the families eyes', as we watch fearfully to see who died without ever knowing where soldiers are beyond estimating from what little information on locations we're given.

Please let me know if you can help or let me know what to do in order to actively put a stop to this unraveling thread. Our soldiers want to come home! We want people to recognize the facts and stop believing what the government is pacifying the public with. The truth is that nothing has changed. People are turning a blind eye because Bush is telling everyone that the war ended months ago.

Those of us who have to wait and worry about our families serving their time know the reality, but are not being acknowledged!

Sincerely,
C.R.G.
Texas, U.S.A.
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"When will the worldwide fight against terrorism be over? I mean, should I get my 3-year-old ready for air assault school?"
--Question from solider from the 101st Airborne Division to Rumsfeld during his visit to Iraq.
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"I missed Vietnam. I thought about retiring after Desert Storm. I should have. [Iraq is] classic FUBAR. � A mission without a goal. An engagement without rules. The intel was pure FUBAR. No exit strategy. We're going to be there for a long, long time. Maybe people are right. Maybe it is another Vietnam. We were in Vietnam for 10 years. � I've been a professional soldier most of my adult life. I've been proud to serve my country even when I thought we might be wrong. But I'm not proud now. And that makes me want to puke." --Anonymous reservist after returning home from Iraq.
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"I've got my own 'Most Wanted' list. The aces in my deck are Paul Bremer, Donald Rumsfeld, George Bush, and Paul Wolfowitz."
- Anonymous Sgt., 2nd Battle Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Brigade, stationed at BCT's HQ.
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January 1, 2004

I just got off the phone with my boyfriend in Iraq. After talking to him, I was in the mood to search the web for others who feel the same way I do. This war is ridiculous. My boyfriend has been in Iraq since last March, and wants out of there more than anything. His "6 month" deployment has turned into 9 months and still going. His morale, along with the morale of many of his fellow troops is incredibly low. Even with the capture of Saddam, many of them are still in a war that they don't agree with and don't want to be a part of. They've been pulled one way and another over and over again. Told one thing and are living the exact opposite. My boyfriend's division, who was supposed to be back in October is now barely holding onto hope that they "might" be back in mid-to-late March.

These men and women desperately need to come back to the people they love, and the people they love need to see them and know that they're home to regain a sense of sanity. This war has done nothing but break a country's heart and soul and in some senses the very dignity for which this country has been based upon. I know that the one thing Bush has done while in office is breaking my respect and honor for what he considers"protecting our country". I support our men and women 100% and always will, but I know that when it comes voting time, my vote will go to the candidate who ridicules Bush the most for his war policies and who realizes that our troops need and deserve to come home NOW!

Thank you again for a wonderful site,
Tasha
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"The way we have been treated and the continuous lies told to our families back home has devastated us all."
--Anonymous soldier in a letter to Congress.
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"I've been in the army eight years and I can't do it any more, not after this. We're sitting here like targets and the Iraqis are getting bolder. They're taking a pop in broad daylight. � When I heard we might get another six months I wanted to cry." --Anonymous reservist from Houston, Texas.
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"We are the only division still in Iraq. � 'The quickest way home is through Baghdad' they told us. So we took the city, and here we are still."
--Staff Sgt. Anthony Joseph, 2nd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division.
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"Our motto is 'Send Me'. We are adding the word 'Home.' Hinesville is the armpit of the world. Right now, I'll take the armpit."
--Staff Sgt. Anthony Joseph again.
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December 17, 2003

I'm in a major army unit getting ready to deploy. The past few months have been nothing but confusion about our mission in Iraq. However, one thing is clear: We are going over there to liberate the Iraqis souls from their bodies. If this stuff doesn't strike anyone in the pro-Bush camp as similar to Vietnam..gimme what you're smoking.

I brought up the fact that soldiers are doing details for KBR (a private corporation) to one of my bosses. He thought nothing was wrong with that! I work for you, the public American citizen, not the rich people of this nation. Stop building Haliburton stock and tell the publicly elected government to bring our troops back. I think we have inflicted enough revenge on brown people everywhere.

Name withheld.
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December 14, 2003

Spec-4 Marshall L. Edgerton was 27years old. He was from Rocky Face, Georgia. He was assigned to [deleted], 82nd Airborne Division. We are based in Fort Bragg, N.C. Marshall was killed December 11th when he was escorting a delivery truck into the 82nd Headquarters in Ramadi, Iraq. The news told you that a furniture truck blew up outside the compound, and that our excellent defenses prevented a lot more people from being killed. That's a load of sh*t. The truck blew up inside the compound, and the reason only 15 people were hurt and one American killed is plain luck. They make us get on every vehicle that enters the compound, and plenty of vehicles come. It's like playing Russian roulette.

Don't give my name or email address. The truth can get you in a lot of trouble here.

Anonymous
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"U.S. officials need to get our asses out of here�I say that seriously. We have no business being here. We will not change the culture they have in Iraq, in Baghdad. Baghdad is so corrupted. All we are here is potential people to be killed and sitting ducks."

--43-year-old reservist from Pittsburgh 307th Military Police Company.
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"If he [Donald Rumsfeld] was here, I would ask him why we're still here, why we've been told so many times [that they'd go home] and it's changed." --Pfc. Jason Punyahotra, 2nd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division.
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"If Donald Rumsfeld was here, I'd ask him for his resignation." --Spc. Clinton Deitz, 2nd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division.
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December 6, 2003

Hi, I am a Marine Corps veteran of the 'first' Gulf War. I was a SAW gunner for a scout team on an LAV-25 (in pseudo-civilian-ese, I toted a light machine gun as part of a 4 man team that rode in a light armored reconnaissance vehicle, which was armed with a 25 millimeter chain gun/cannon). I have never written publicly about my 'adventure', but have wanted to for a long time.

My tour was short, and except for a few firefights, fairly uneventful, but enough to realize war kills souls. Mine included. Reading Stan Goff's letter this morning, I found tears in my eyes. I've tried for the last ten years to get my heart back, to feel good again, and the truth is, it's always temporary. The rage and the fear remain.

As this new war started, I freaked. I could make no sense of the obvious lies that precipitated this 'war'. As the machine chugged forward, though, I lost my cause. I became apathetic, and began to think maybe it was all for a higher purpose, that somehow my fear and rage and sleeplessness and emotional death had been brought about by something meaningful. I wasn't convinced, but was becoming open to the idea, as I felt more and more hopeless that no one would listen, that anyone that hadn't been there couldn't comprehend the mistake of war. So I've got more to say, at some point soon, but for now I just wanted to thank Stan for his courageous letter and to let him know that it brought me back to earth.

War is a horrible last resort and the ultimate irony of America - we raise our children to love, to share, to not hit or be violent to each other, only to be dumped into the US military mindf**k machine at puberty ("Army of One", "A few good men", etc..), and learn kill, kill, kill; no mercy; this training will save your LIFE, private! Argh!

Anyways, thank you Stan, and thanks to everyone at this site...
Todd Jensen
Seattle, Washington
PS: Stan's comments about being 'chumped' really apply. It's exactly how I have felt...
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December 2, 2003

I'm a girlfriend of a soldier currently deployed in Iraq. The American occupation of Iraq angers me no end - our government is unjustly risking so many lives in this un-constitutional "war on terrorism." Every day since he has been gone I have been actively fighting for him and all of his colleagues to be brought back home. I feel that the most effective means of letting my voice be heard is by writing my representatives, which I have been doing almost daily. I have many friends with loved ones stationed (or soon-to-be) overseas and have been urging them to start writing their representatives too. Unfortunately, it seems that people my age (I'm 23) think of our representatives as some kind of untouchable "beings" too high up on some pedestal for a lowly little citizen to contact. Basically, people are scared of them. Please don't be!! I've been pleading with my friends to give it a try! Representatives are called representatives because they're supposed to represent our view. This is impossible if we don't let them know what our view is!

It's SO easy to write all of them-it only takes a few minutes now with email. Please visit the "Take a Stand" (http://www.bringthemhomenow.org/what/viewpoint/01_2003.html#openletter031115page) on the "Bring Them Home Now" website. All the information on what to do is listed there with links to help you find your congressional representative and senators. If you know the names of your representatives you can Google them to find their personal web page; all of them have a link on their page to contact them. Don't feel you have to impress your representatives with long, documented letters. Just jot down your thoughts and send it! The majority of the time office staff and aids will be reading the mail and only be looking for a "yea or nay" view to keep a tally.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE help!! It's pretty obvious from his courageous two and a half hour visit to Iraq over the holiday that Bush is feeling the heat from our nation for his pro-occupation stance. If everyone who follows this site pitched in and wrote a letter to their three main representatives each week, the results would definitely have a HUGE impact! Our "representatives" want to keep their jobs. If they receive enough feedback from their districts, they will be forced to listen and bring our troops home NOW!

Sheila McBride
Los Angeles, California
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December 27, 2003
Bring the Troops Home
bring the troops home,
standing, talking, walking,
memory intact,
eyes that see,
ears that hear,
bring the troops home,
loving fathers, sons, daughters,
nights without nightmares,
bring the troops home,
smiles across their faces,
laughter in their voices,
bring them how they left,
with hope, soul and heart strong,
looking foreword to the dawn,
embrace of family,
bring them home in their own skin,
not body bags that hide the truth,
slick masks, limp and lifeless,
bring them home
ready to be reborn in love and peace.

Phil Goldvarg, ll/14/03